eyes wide open

am having my dinner now. has been hungry-man microwave-ables every night. was super tired, cos even tho i ended work at 9.15pm, i had to wait for the 10pm bus. sad right? i was hungry, tired and lonely. but half a cookie and 2 muesli bars saved my life. lucky i have lifesavers in my bag constantly. no doubt squashed, but still it's food. remind me to refill. i was sent to area 1 today, which is where the front gate is, meaning that we can only leave when all the guests have left. which explains why i'm the last eco worker of my grp to leave. there are no street lamps on certain roads and it's scary haha. anyway i fell asleep even with my music blasting. and my legs were aching after walking all day. i'm trying not to let the limp become habitual.

i was actually in high spirits b4 i got sent to area 1, cos i had a nice talk with Tang Di, and i managed to trade a dollar bill for a dollar coin which apparently is pretty rare, and it made me happy. and for lunch i had stir-fry chicken with rice that resembled chinese food, which made me happy too even tho i wasn't full. then i volunteered to go to area 1 cos Tang Di said the dry area wld be good for my legs. but i was the only girl there for 2 hrs, so i had to clean 4 toilets, and tt involved quite some walking even tho 3 were in close proximity to each other. but closing was tiring, cos i had to constantly walk back and forth and do the trash and change and re-change the sanitary bags cos the freaking guests just cldn't get their asses out even tho the park had closed. so i missed my 9pm bus, and as i walked thru international street and out towards the employee gate, it was just a different feeling. the place was dark and serene, and i was alone. but i wasn't alone waiting for the bus, there were several F&B ppl too. then many other internationals came too. on the bus i wished i cld have jotted down all my thoughts and emotions then, but it was just too dark and i didn't have the tools. plus i was tired.

Bernard told me abt the dog kennel in the park, but it's away from the common areas, and it's where guests deposit their pets b4 entering the park and where the lost and find items are stored after 1 wk. only security can access the place, or i wld have wanted to see the doggies. i miss notty and papee and peepa, notty for his wonderful dog-like smile, papee for his constant 疼-ing and peepa for a hug a day. and of cos boyboy, cos ur still the best :) and Bernard said i'd visited 3 out of 4 of USA's historic capitals: Washington DC, Richmond and Williamsburg. i've still got Jamestown left. he said it's the first duno-what ( i can't rmb) of USA.

but the thing tt made my day was wat happened at 8pm. the sun hadn't set, and it was in full splendour. i was walking back to frontgate from newgate, and when i looked up in the sky, i just went "oh-my-gawd". which is pretty rare, cos i actually talked to myself. i actually talked to myself with my pan and broom in hand!!! tt's freakish right. the feeling was indescribable. the closest word wld be "spectacular" i guess. the sun was big, round, red and bright. the sky was a clear light blue hue and the sun was just in it's pride of place low in the sky, about to set. it wasn't blocked by the trees from my view when i was walking, and at that moment i just wished i had a camera, hp or any sort of recording device to document tt very sight. i wish i could print it out from memory but tt's not possible. hopefully tt very sight will remain fresh in my mind forever. it was just beautiful. it was beautiful being able to look straight at the sun without the glare spoiling my gaze. it was beautiful being able to see the sun without arching your neck backwards. it was beautiful seeing the sun red, round and bright. and huge. it was just plain beautiful, even with all the ppl congregating all over outside the front gate, waiting for ppl or transport.

my roomie and her sis and a few others went pubbing at cary street. jian wei drove them. i was too tired to go. he tried to psycho me into ponning work today to go to DC with him and yue you but i didn't wanna wake up tt early (they left at 7am) and i'd feel bad skipping work once every wk. cos i alr took sick leave the other wk when i had fever, which resulted in my paycheck being the most pathetic, i only got 400+ while the rest got 500 or 600+. and i figured even if i don't work i shdn't be walking all over DC's museums cos then my legs still wldn't get any rest. am a responsible worker! i feel like an unsung hero, braving all dangers for my stupid job and not getting recognised for my effort. i didn't even complain to my supervisors abt my legs hurting all day. hello, i don't skive as much as others and when i just pause for a second to talk to someone who talks to me in the storage room, i get caught by Duane who says we spend too much time in the storage room. kns, life ain't fair isn't it? told u i'm just plain suay. but tt was ytd la. or was it the day b4. it made me moody for half a day. i'm just such a perfectionist. not tt i cannot take criticisms, but sometimes i just feel so wronged.

maybe i shd just continue thinking abt my dollar coin (which looks gold at a certain angle and silver at another and has USA's second president John Adams on it) and the sun.

but i'm worrying abt how i'm gonna spend my off day tmr. cos i'm the only one off tmr, since Huili decided to sign up for extra hours and cldn't cancel, and tho i managed to get a vietamese girl to go to regency sq tmr, i just found out there's no bus there tmr. sai. maybe i shd really go walk ard myself and explore the place. hope i don't get lost. then again it'd be another breakthrough. i just feel so independent right now, i guess this trip was right.

what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. it's my mantra.