Before the sem was over, all I wanted was to be able to lie down and not move for a century. Now that the sem is over, I can finally lie down without setting my alarm, yet I start to feel as if I'm wasting my life away. It's an irony, and one of the many paradoxes of life. But I promise not to oversleep from now on if that will guarantee I don't get migraines anymore.

1 year ago, at this time, I was going to pack for my US trip. It's been a year!!! But what's the surprise, since soon enough it will be 10 years, then 20?


"It was Jacob himself. Jacob was simply a perpetually happy person, and he carried that happiness with him like an aura, sharing it with whoever was near him. Like an earthbound sun, whenever someone was within his gravitational pull, Jacob warmed them. It was natural, a part of who he was. No wonder I was so eager to see him."---New Moon

I particularly like that excerpt. Don't you want to be like that too, and to meet such people?

silhouette

Alrighty. I'm back!!!

The adventure is over. Should I say "Finally!", or should I say "Oh my. I can't believe 3 years just flew right past me before my very eyes"?

It seems just yesterday that I was still a freshie having vinegar poured over me. It seems just yesterday I was freaking out in hall on the eve of BS101 exam. Those 8.30am Monday lectures in LT20 which were in fact napping sessions. Memorising TCM quotes. Staring at people's tongues. Watching "Goong" in the hall lounge on the night before a paper. Calling each other and complaining about not being able to finish studying. Cursed venues like SRC. Cui venues like Hall 10 function room. Cold venues like Nanyang Audi. Weird exam seatings like 1st of the entire row, last of the entire row, behind a pillar...Mugging sessions in school. Camping sessions in school. Bubble tea before biz law. Chionging for french lessons. Chionging over the hill and getting to school in record time every day. Never parking illegally. Parking to avoid the leaves. Taking the lift at south spine. Raiding the medical centre and becoming good friends with the nurses. Quad VIP card and coffee. CR7. CR6. And CR4 for this exam period. Fanny and the cui SBS printers. Free lunches, bazaars and weird xxx days where we end up winning prizes. Running in the dark. Being the only living soul. Movies in the library. Live bands outside quad. Stars on 16 roof. Borrowing shoes in the middle of the night. Hall hopping. And the list goes on......

Life in NTU is over. Not yet though, if you consider FYP. My ties with SBS haven't been severed and I'm sure I'll still get to try Cafe Express and Cafe Alfresco :)

I can't believe Patho yesterday was my last exam in NTU. When I saw Lai Siang Hui I couldn't help but grin to myself. But I won't be seeing him again. Not unless I die unnaturally and my organs are sent to him. Lol.

This last exam period has been a really different experience. All in a week, it was a battle of speed, skill, stamina, precision and of course, the big M word. And I'm still amazed at the lengths people go to to create conducive studying environments for themselves. Hahaha. On this particular day, it was around 11pm and I saw this guy in SBS lobby, sitting on the floor, on the phone, with his notes spread out in a circle around him. It was quite a sight. I was tempted to take a photo of him haha. Other days there were people squatting in the corridor with their notes. Then there were the tupperware people and that other group of guys who rearranged the tables in the exam hall to form their own cosy corner near the wall socket. Ultimate. People from all walks of life congregating in my little school. People from NUS (?!), people from other faculties, and all the people I've come to know by face, not by name. Not to mention my fellow mugger classmates. Haha. It has all come to an end. I'll never see those people again. (Other than my classmates, of course)

It made me realise that I cannot imagine myself doing research. I cannot imagine being a prof attached to a school, with my own lab, my own research and having to come back on weekends. I saw Preiser and his son (poor kid had to skate scoot around NTU while his dad went to his lab. Can you imagine having NTU as your playground on a WEEKEND?!), LCF, Valerie Lin and her daughter, Torres, Klaus Heese (expected), Mu Yuguang and his son, Kung bushwoman's husband, Droge and a few others I forgot. Do these people have a life outside Science?

And in the end I still got Torres. Haha. Here's to daily sniggering sessions in the lab with Jo.



It's a public holiday but half the world is in school. If macs runs out of food I'm going to laugh.

I wish I could define
All the thoughts that crossed my mind
They seem too big for me to choose
I don't know which ones to lose
When I'm falling down so far
I think I'll never see your light
Bouncing off of me
Shining down here from your eyes

Help me
Figure out the difference
Between right and wrong
Weak and strong
Day and night
Where I belong and
Help me
Make the right decisions
Know which way to turn
Lessons to learn
And just what my purpose is here

It's like I got the signals crossed
With messages I can't decode
Half asleep, never wide awake
And I'm in complete overload
I got so much information here
And nothing I can really grasp
I should know the truth
But I'm too afraid so I have to ask

Help me
Figure out the difference
Between right and wrong
Weak and strong
Day and night
Where I belong and
Help me
Make the right decisions
Know which way to turn
Lessons to learn
And just what my purpose is here

Wanna know you
More than anything
I need you
In my every dream, you're there for me
Do you love me?
For who I am, no angel
Just an ordinary man

Help me figure out why I'm stuck in the middle
Trying to understand why I can't
Why you're such a riddle
Got my eyes crossed
I'm thinking so hard and I know I'm missing the mark
Can you help me sort out
All this information
I'm just rackin' my brain
Paying attention
But I'm still lost
And at all costs
I gotta know (gotta know, oh)

Help me
Figure out the difference
Between right and wrong
Weak and strong
Day and night
Where I belong and
Help me
Make the right decisions
Know which way to turn
Lessons to learn
And just what my purpose is here

Help me figure out why I'm stuck in the middle
Trying to understand why I can't
Why you're such a riddle
Got my eyes crossed
I'm thinking so hard and I know I'm missing the mark
Can you help me sort out
All this information
I'm just rackin' my brain
Paying attention
But I'm still lost
And at all costs
I gotta know



-=Online.musicinbox=-

tachycardia

Today was the last day of school. Last day of lessons in NTU, ever.

It didn't really occur to me until someone wrote "Last day of school! :) :(" on the board and everyone started whipping out their cameras to take photos with each other.

It made me feel sad, and weird. I couldn't concentrate on what I was reading, think I read the same line 10 times without it registering. =(

A tinge of regret. But we still have 2 years.













Been having 2 cups of coffee for the past 2 days. My new fave is caffe mocarabia!!! Hahaha. I can't believe that in my 3 years in NTU I haven't patronized Cafe Express and Cafe Al Fresco. But if I do my FYP in NTU maybe there'd still be a chance. Haha.




I still can't believe my uni life is over just like that. In a flash. It's too surreal, too sudden. But when reality hits, it hits hard. At least I won't be thrown into the rat race just yet. I'll be off to study Western medicine in chinese for 2 years :) I just found out yesterday that in Japan, in order to study TCM, you'd have to have a Western Medical degree first. Wow. Does that mean we're lucky to be able to study it at this level? I'd need another 10 years of study to become a prof though. Hahaha.


I got 国宝's autograph and a personal photograph with him today :D

stresspathy

Today on the radio, I heard this:

"Children in the front of the car can cause accidents. Accidents at the back of the car can cost childrens."

Jo and I burst out laughing. Hilarious, yet apt joke of the day :)

When I told mamee, she interpreted it as "Accidents at the back of the car can cause children". *frowns* Hahaha. See how differently our brains work. I didn't even think of that!



The test last monday was the root of all evil. The intense mugging and fatigue it caused led to ultimate sian-ness, with negative feedback and a refractory period that stretched for 1 week. Then the stress builds up but there's still that underlying apathy, the voice deep inside that says "Heck lah, it's your last sem already, so why bother", and the dread and laziness. And sian-ness. Which gives a combination of stress-pathy. Then all of a sudden there's 1 week left and the stress builds up even more at the realization that there's freaking no time. Then you reach a point of panic and a state of emergency, with a heightened level of adrenaline. There's where you know it's now or never. Then you decide that you have to start the 3am sprees again. There can be no triumph without sacrifice! I haven't been sacrificing my tv, and I hope I don't have to. Sacrifice my sleep and bring on the coffee instead. Hahaha. Ohmygoodness. Why am I even wasting time here? I can't help it, I'm just too tired.


I chanced upon FD3 showing on tv last night. I would have watched it if I were as free as a bumblebee. I always marvel at all the apparently free people I come across, and wonder why in the world they are so free. I wonder whether I'll be as free when I start working, or when I have my own family. Anyway, speaking of FD3, it was rated as "PG-Strong Violence" and honestly I was surprised. Erm, it is quite freakish and violent, but the deaths are all portrayed in very innovative ways, not gross and psychotic as in those serial-killer horror flicks which over-emphasize the blood and gore. The point is, I got to watch the part of the nail gun incident again, which happens to be my deepest impression of the show. Haha. I thought it was really cool, the ways in which death would strike, as thought up by whoever wrote the script. This is one horror movie with a storyline :)



We are we are...youth of the nation...
(I heard this on radio today too, super old. And I happen to know it's by POD. Lol.)

Am stressed =(

retreat

Quote of the night: Desperate times call for desperate measures. (But not to the point of stealing shoes hahaha)

I feel like I've repeated night walk all over again. Haha. And I'm convinced the stars in the east are way better.

And it's undeniable that i have aged. Now I can only fly full speed for 200m =( But actually I can't remember when's the last time I attempted.

This will probably be the last time I'm trudging around pulau ntu at this time. Tee hee. Everybody is mugging but I have "invested in my health"! HAHAHA.

Technically, I feel like I'm on a road trip, with my pillow, passport and car. I could actually escape to truly asia and never come back! Hahaha. It's time to stop dreaming and go hit the books.

Hopefully I'll be able to retreat successfully till the end.

Today was a good day. :)


But it was a good day cos I slacked all night instead of studying. Haha.


I will miss night visits when we all graduate.



I better start studying soon. 14 days!