A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,
He said...no.
She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....and he said no.
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he
replied with a no.
She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face,
the boy grabbed her arm and said....
You're not pretty you're beautiful.
I don't want to be with you forever, I NEED to be with you forever.
And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die...
"A good friend will come bail you out of jail...
But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying ...
WE screwed up!"
I've learned....That life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned....That we should be glad God doesn't give us
everything we ask for
I've learned....That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned...That it's those small daily happenings
that make life so spectacular.
I've learned...That under everyone's hard shell
is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned....That the Lord didn't do it all in one day.
What makes me think I can?
I've learned....That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned.
I've learned....That the less time I have to work,
the more things I get done.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Friday, March 24, 2006
direction
Sometimes i just wish i had more direction in life. Like a dream waiting to be fulfilled and one which i had the means to achieve. Or maybe i just need more confidence and faith in myself. Why do i seem to fear that i won't be able to make it,can't take the stress,can't cope etc? Well deep down i know that i'll be able to manage whatever i set my heart on,unless i'm just born bad in that particular subject. Like maths? Haha no la i don't believe i'm totally hopeless in maths. I could jolly well try for medicine and law,and i'd like to think i'll be able to at least get into law on account of my gp and the interview,cos i've got absolutely no doubt about my linguistic ability. Confident in written and spoken English. Yes i meet that criteria. But somehow law is not my calling. I think interest matters alot. I'm not exactly practical like others,in that they consider what careers they wanna pursue then study something related. Or rather they choose to study something that can give them good career prospects. I don't disagree but somehow for me interest comes first. Things can always change and i won't hesitate to go for a second degree or graduate studies in another area.
I just hope i can choose wisely and not regret anything in future.
It's not that i can't,it's just that i don't want to.
Look at it that way and don't underestimate yourself. The future is yet to be.
I just hope i can choose wisely and not regret anything in future.
It's not that i can't,it's just that i don't want to.
Look at it that way and don't underestimate yourself. The future is yet to be.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Creative Theorist
Your IQ score is 125. This means that you are smarter than 95.0% of all other Super IQ test takers.
This number is the result of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly on the Tickle Super IQ Test.
But there's more to intelligence than a single number, a single score, or a single label. Tickle uses 8 distinguishable dimensions of intelligence in the Super IQ Test. By analyzing your individual scores on those 8 scales, we are able to look beyond the raw IQ score into how you process information, and which intellectual strengths you're best at.
Your test results indicate that the way you process information makes you a Creative Theorist.
You are a highly intelligent, complex person. You process all kinds of information easily, using the power of both your creative and analytic abilities. In any situation, you know how to extract the most valuable details and use them to understand the larger picture. Most people do not have your talent of being able to spot both numerical and visual patterns.
Your highly imaginative mind allows you to be innovative, and conjure up notions of what could be. In some circles this is called "thinking outside the box" and is considered an extremely valuable asset. However, not everyone is prepared for such an active imagination and you may find you have to spend time convincing people of your great ideas. It might behoove you to find others like you, who are able to understand how your mind works.
Here's an example of your Creative Theorist thinking skills at work in a real-life situation:
You go to a symphony with a bunch of friends. The way the conductor moves his arms during the performance makes you think of patterns you have studied in physics. You remember the movement of a pendulum and how a cradle rocks back and forth in the same motion, and you tell yourself that you are going to dig up your old school books just to brush up on other related concepts. When the concert ends, you feel compelled to tell your friends about the beautiful intersection you witnessed between science and art. They'll most likely see what you mean, but they would never have come up with the association on their own. Thank goodness you think the way you do!
Now that you know about how you process information, let's drill down to see what your specific intellectual strengths are. None of the intellectual abilities is more important than any of the others. And it's your unique scores on each of these scales, that makes you an interesting addition to any group, office, or family.
These intellectual strengths color your world and the way you perceive it, and also allow you to contribute your original perspective when solving problems and coming up with ideas. No one intellectual dimension can define you. It's the original combination of your intellectual strengths that makes you special.
Numerical
Verbal
Logical
Spatial
Mechanical
Organizational
Reasoning
Visual
low high
As you can see, your top scores are in the areas of Numerical, Verbal, and Logical. This is a very unusual combination — only 6 in 1,000 people have it. Want more proof? Then pay attention to the percentages of people who scored higher and lower than you on each of the 8 intellectual strengths.
Numerical Ability
Numerical
low high
You scored 99 out of 100. You use numerical ability when you spot a numerical pattern or solve a numerical equation. Here's a question that assessed your numerical ability:
Which number completes the series? 1, 3/2, 2, 5/2, ?
Here's the answer: 3
In every-day life, you use the ability to calculate a tip at a restaurant, or estimate taxes on a purchase. Everyone has this ability to a greater or lesser extent.
Compared with others, your numerical ability is very high. This means that you have no problem processing numbers.
Verbal Ability
Verbal
low high
Your verbal ability score is 99 out of 100. Verbal ability means having an expansive range of vocabulary, being able to use it, and feeling a desire to add to it. It is also what allows you to comprehend the relationships and subtle difference between words.
Here's a question that required verbal ability:
The opposite of acute is:
A. Severe
B. Incisive
C. Dull
D. Flamboyant
The opposite of the word acute, meaning sharp or finely tuned, is dull, so the correct answer is C.
In every-day life, verbal ability is essential to being able to interpret written materials. It's also valuable for communication — the more vocabulary words you know, the more precisely you may be able to convey your point.
Compared with others, your verbal ability is very high. This means that you have a very strong verbal ability.
Logical Ability
Logical
low high
Your scored 97 out of 100. Logical ability is what you use when determining whether or not something makes sense. You rely on logic when analyzing an argument, step-by-step. This ability also contributes to your aptitude for recognizing underlying patterns.
Here's a question that required high logical ability to solve:
Mary loved pink flowers more than she loved red ones. She didn't like orange flowers at all, and while she liked yellow flowers, she couldn't say that she really loved them. Which of these is true?
A. She liked red flowers less than orange flowers
B. She liked yellow flowers more than red flowers
C. She liked pink flowers more than yellow flowers
D. She liked orange flowers more than pink flowers
Here's the answer: She liked yellow flowers but didn't love them; however, she did love pink and red ones - pink more than red. Thus far the order of preference is pink, red, yellow. But she liked orange least of all, which means the new order is pink, red, yellow, orange. This means that she liked red more than orange (which makes option A not true). She liked yellow less than red (which makes option B not true). She liked pink more than yellow, which makes option C true, and she liked orange less than any of the flowers, which makes option D not true. Therefore, the correct answer is C.
In every-day life, you might use this ability to figure out the best route to the store, or to figure out the best deal when choosing between a couple items to buy. Everyone has a certain ability to use logic to solve problems. Some are better at it than others, however.
Compared with others, your logical ability is very high. This means that you are an extremely logical person.
Spatial Ability
Spatial
low high
You scored 96 out of 100. You use spatial ability to judge the relationship between objects and physical space, like a parked car and the width of the road. It is also what helps you visualize a room when you are decorating or rearranging furniture.
Here's a question that required high spatial ability to solve:
Which is the odd one out?
A
B
C
D
Here's the answer: The thunderbolts in A, B, and C are all going in the same way, but the one in D is actually a flipped version of the rest.
In every-day life, you use this ability when you drive or even when you are walking through a packed crowd (so that you don't run into other people!). Some people actually use this ability to help them with non-physical things. If they are trying to understand a situation, they might think of the words as shapes that they need to negotiate.
Compared with others, your spatial abilities are very high. This means that you have a very strong sense of how things exist in physical space.
Mechanical Ability
Mechanical
low high
You scored 93 out of 100. Mechanical ability is what helps you understand how machines and tools work. Someone with a good amount of mechanical ability probably has an innate understanding of physics. High mechanical skill is also associated with a high degree of precision and practical thinking.
Here's a question that required high mechanical ability to solve:
Which object will fall faster? A 8 x 11 piece of paper or a peanut? Both weight the same amount.
A. The piece of paper
B. The peanut
C. It is impossible to know
The paper will encounter more resistance than will the peanut, and so it will fall more slowly. The peanut will fall faster and so the correct answer is B.
In every-day life, mechanical ability comes in handy when anything in the house breaks, or when you have to purchase something that requires physical assembly. It is also helpful in finding solutions to physical problems, such as determining how to build a pulley to bring water out of a well.
Compared with others, your mechanical abilities are very high. This means that you have a very strong mechanical ability.
Organizational Ability
Organizational
low high
Your organizational ability score is 88 out of 100. Organizational ability is what allows you to organize and arrange information effectively, be precise, and proofread carefully.
Here's a question that required high organizational ability:
Which of the following character strings is the closest match to 8,392,211,109?
Here's the answer: The correct answer is B. Try reading each of the answer options not as numbers, but rather as a string of characters; when you do so, you will find that B has the fewest mismatches, position for position, in the string of characters. See below (mismatches highlighted in red): Original string: 8,392,211,109
Answer A: 8,382,311,119 3 mismatches
Answer B: 8,3925211,129 2 mismatches
Answer C: 8,39,2211,208 4 mismatches
Answer D: 8,329,211,108 3 mismatches
In every-day life, organizational ability is what you use to proofread a paper or organize a messy desk. Coming up with an organizational system for keeping track of things comes easy to those who are high in this ability. It is a highly practical skill.
Compared with others, your organizational ability is high. This means that you have a strong organizational ability.
Abstract Reasoning Ability
Reasoning
low high
Your score is 86 out of 100. With abstract reasoning you can think on multiple levels and see relationships between ideas that are not easily apparent. When you're using your abstract reasoning skills, you draw on both external logical and creative sources of information to come up with your solution.
Here's a question that required high abstract reasoning ability to solve:
What comes next in the sequence?
A
B
C
Here's the answer: The progression from one figure to the next is the addition of 1/2 of the previously added box. So the first figure is one box; the second figure is the first box plus a box 1/2 of its size; the third figure is the previous two boxes plus a box 1/2 of the last added box's size. Therefore the final figure (the question mark) should be the third figure plus a box 1/2 of the last added box. The correct answer is B.
In every-day life, abstract reasoning ability is used to understand complex, multi-layered situations, sometimes involving the associations and relationships between two seemingly different sets of information. For example, imagine someone who has taken piano lessons and was taught that the skill was more easily obtained when she pointed out her struggles to her teacher. She was able to learn from them and improve. This same woman then takes writing lessons and again makes her mistakes obvious so that the instructor can suggest changes and she can improve.
Compared with others, your abstract ability is high. This means that you have a strong abstract ability.
Visual Ability
Visual
low high
Your score is 82 out of 100. Visual ability allows you to accurately visualize all aspects of an object for the purposes of recreating it, the way painters do. It's also what you use to imagine a scene from a novel or a story someone tells you — the ability to accurately reproduce reality in the mind's eye.
Here's a question that required high visual ability to solve:
Which of the images below is a perfect square?
Here's the answer: Eyeballing it, you can see that image A is the square with identical length and height, and so the correct answer is A.
In every-day life, visual ability is what you use when creating original art. In order to reproduce an object on canvas (as painters do) you have to be able to accurately represent the dimensions of those objects in the picture. Getting the accurate perspective and depth is easiest for someone with a strong visual ability.
Compared with others, your visual ability is high. This means that you have a strong visual ability.
http://web.tickle.com/tests/superiq/paidresult.jsp
This number is the result of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly on the Tickle Super IQ Test.
But there's more to intelligence than a single number, a single score, or a single label. Tickle uses 8 distinguishable dimensions of intelligence in the Super IQ Test. By analyzing your individual scores on those 8 scales, we are able to look beyond the raw IQ score into how you process information, and which intellectual strengths you're best at.
Your test results indicate that the way you process information makes you a Creative Theorist.
You are a highly intelligent, complex person. You process all kinds of information easily, using the power of both your creative and analytic abilities. In any situation, you know how to extract the most valuable details and use them to understand the larger picture. Most people do not have your talent of being able to spot both numerical and visual patterns.
Your highly imaginative mind allows you to be innovative, and conjure up notions of what could be. In some circles this is called "thinking outside the box" and is considered an extremely valuable asset. However, not everyone is prepared for such an active imagination and you may find you have to spend time convincing people of your great ideas. It might behoove you to find others like you, who are able to understand how your mind works.
Here's an example of your Creative Theorist thinking skills at work in a real-life situation:
You go to a symphony with a bunch of friends. The way the conductor moves his arms during the performance makes you think of patterns you have studied in physics. You remember the movement of a pendulum and how a cradle rocks back and forth in the same motion, and you tell yourself that you are going to dig up your old school books just to brush up on other related concepts. When the concert ends, you feel compelled to tell your friends about the beautiful intersection you witnessed between science and art. They'll most likely see what you mean, but they would never have come up with the association on their own. Thank goodness you think the way you do!
Now that you know about how you process information, let's drill down to see what your specific intellectual strengths are. None of the intellectual abilities is more important than any of the others. And it's your unique scores on each of these scales, that makes you an interesting addition to any group, office, or family.
These intellectual strengths color your world and the way you perceive it, and also allow you to contribute your original perspective when solving problems and coming up with ideas. No one intellectual dimension can define you. It's the original combination of your intellectual strengths that makes you special.
Numerical
Verbal
Logical
Spatial
Mechanical
Organizational
Reasoning
Visual
low high
As you can see, your top scores are in the areas of Numerical, Verbal, and Logical. This is a very unusual combination — only 6 in 1,000 people have it. Want more proof? Then pay attention to the percentages of people who scored higher and lower than you on each of the 8 intellectual strengths.
Numerical Ability
Numerical
low high
You scored 99 out of 100. You use numerical ability when you spot a numerical pattern or solve a numerical equation. Here's a question that assessed your numerical ability:
Which number completes the series? 1, 3/2, 2, 5/2, ?
Here's the answer: 3
In every-day life, you use the ability to calculate a tip at a restaurant, or estimate taxes on a purchase. Everyone has this ability to a greater or lesser extent.
Compared with others, your numerical ability is very high. This means that you have no problem processing numbers.
Verbal Ability
Verbal
low high
Your verbal ability score is 99 out of 100. Verbal ability means having an expansive range of vocabulary, being able to use it, and feeling a desire to add to it. It is also what allows you to comprehend the relationships and subtle difference between words.
Here's a question that required verbal ability:
The opposite of acute is:
A. Severe
B. Incisive
C. Dull
D. Flamboyant
The opposite of the word acute, meaning sharp or finely tuned, is dull, so the correct answer is C.
In every-day life, verbal ability is essential to being able to interpret written materials. It's also valuable for communication — the more vocabulary words you know, the more precisely you may be able to convey your point.
Compared with others, your verbal ability is very high. This means that you have a very strong verbal ability.
Logical Ability
Logical
low high
Your scored 97 out of 100. Logical ability is what you use when determining whether or not something makes sense. You rely on logic when analyzing an argument, step-by-step. This ability also contributes to your aptitude for recognizing underlying patterns.
Here's a question that required high logical ability to solve:
Mary loved pink flowers more than she loved red ones. She didn't like orange flowers at all, and while she liked yellow flowers, she couldn't say that she really loved them. Which of these is true?
A. She liked red flowers less than orange flowers
B. She liked yellow flowers more than red flowers
C. She liked pink flowers more than yellow flowers
D. She liked orange flowers more than pink flowers
Here's the answer: She liked yellow flowers but didn't love them; however, she did love pink and red ones - pink more than red. Thus far the order of preference is pink, red, yellow. But she liked orange least of all, which means the new order is pink, red, yellow, orange. This means that she liked red more than orange (which makes option A not true). She liked yellow less than red (which makes option B not true). She liked pink more than yellow, which makes option C true, and she liked orange less than any of the flowers, which makes option D not true. Therefore, the correct answer is C.
In every-day life, you might use this ability to figure out the best route to the store, or to figure out the best deal when choosing between a couple items to buy. Everyone has a certain ability to use logic to solve problems. Some are better at it than others, however.
Compared with others, your logical ability is very high. This means that you are an extremely logical person.
Spatial Ability
Spatial
low high
You scored 96 out of 100. You use spatial ability to judge the relationship between objects and physical space, like a parked car and the width of the road. It is also what helps you visualize a room when you are decorating or rearranging furniture.
Here's a question that required high spatial ability to solve:
Which is the odd one out?
A
B
C
D
Here's the answer: The thunderbolts in A, B, and C are all going in the same way, but the one in D is actually a flipped version of the rest.
In every-day life, you use this ability when you drive or even when you are walking through a packed crowd (so that you don't run into other people!). Some people actually use this ability to help them with non-physical things. If they are trying to understand a situation, they might think of the words as shapes that they need to negotiate.
Compared with others, your spatial abilities are very high. This means that you have a very strong sense of how things exist in physical space.
Mechanical Ability
Mechanical
low high
You scored 93 out of 100. Mechanical ability is what helps you understand how machines and tools work. Someone with a good amount of mechanical ability probably has an innate understanding of physics. High mechanical skill is also associated with a high degree of precision and practical thinking.
Here's a question that required high mechanical ability to solve:
Which object will fall faster? A 8 x 11 piece of paper or a peanut? Both weight the same amount.
A. The piece of paper
B. The peanut
C. It is impossible to know
The paper will encounter more resistance than will the peanut, and so it will fall more slowly. The peanut will fall faster and so the correct answer is B.
In every-day life, mechanical ability comes in handy when anything in the house breaks, or when you have to purchase something that requires physical assembly. It is also helpful in finding solutions to physical problems, such as determining how to build a pulley to bring water out of a well.
Compared with others, your mechanical abilities are very high. This means that you have a very strong mechanical ability.
Organizational Ability
Organizational
low high
Your organizational ability score is 88 out of 100. Organizational ability is what allows you to organize and arrange information effectively, be precise, and proofread carefully.
Here's a question that required high organizational ability:
Which of the following character strings is the closest match to 8,392,211,109?
Here's the answer: The correct answer is B. Try reading each of the answer options not as numbers, but rather as a string of characters; when you do so, you will find that B has the fewest mismatches, position for position, in the string of characters. See below (mismatches highlighted in red): Original string: 8,392,211,109
Answer A: 8,382,311,119 3 mismatches
Answer B: 8,3925211,129 2 mismatches
Answer C: 8,39,2211,208 4 mismatches
Answer D: 8,329,211,108 3 mismatches
In every-day life, organizational ability is what you use to proofread a paper or organize a messy desk. Coming up with an organizational system for keeping track of things comes easy to those who are high in this ability. It is a highly practical skill.
Compared with others, your organizational ability is high. This means that you have a strong organizational ability.
Abstract Reasoning Ability
Reasoning
low high
Your score is 86 out of 100. With abstract reasoning you can think on multiple levels and see relationships between ideas that are not easily apparent. When you're using your abstract reasoning skills, you draw on both external logical and creative sources of information to come up with your solution.
Here's a question that required high abstract reasoning ability to solve:
What comes next in the sequence?
A
B
C
Here's the answer: The progression from one figure to the next is the addition of 1/2 of the previously added box. So the first figure is one box; the second figure is the first box plus a box 1/2 of its size; the third figure is the previous two boxes plus a box 1/2 of the last added box's size. Therefore the final figure (the question mark) should be the third figure plus a box 1/2 of the last added box. The correct answer is B.
In every-day life, abstract reasoning ability is used to understand complex, multi-layered situations, sometimes involving the associations and relationships between two seemingly different sets of information. For example, imagine someone who has taken piano lessons and was taught that the skill was more easily obtained when she pointed out her struggles to her teacher. She was able to learn from them and improve. This same woman then takes writing lessons and again makes her mistakes obvious so that the instructor can suggest changes and she can improve.
Compared with others, your abstract ability is high. This means that you have a strong abstract ability.
Visual Ability
Visual
low high
Your score is 82 out of 100. Visual ability allows you to accurately visualize all aspects of an object for the purposes of recreating it, the way painters do. It's also what you use to imagine a scene from a novel or a story someone tells you — the ability to accurately reproduce reality in the mind's eye.
Here's a question that required high visual ability to solve:
Which of the images below is a perfect square?
Here's the answer: Eyeballing it, you can see that image A is the square with identical length and height, and so the correct answer is A.
In every-day life, visual ability is what you use when creating original art. In order to reproduce an object on canvas (as painters do) you have to be able to accurately represent the dimensions of those objects in the picture. Getting the accurate perspective and depth is easiest for someone with a strong visual ability.
Compared with others, your visual ability is high. This means that you have a strong visual ability.
http://web.tickle.com/tests/superiq/paidresult.jsp
Friday, March 03, 2006
i feel...
A thousand emotions and thoughts have been running through my head since yesterday. My mind is calmer and my soul lighter now but i can't help but still feel the sadness and disappointment for my friends. So this is the feeling you get when people close to you haven't done well and you won't feel much happiness and elation no matter how well you've done yourself. No doubt i'm quite satisfied with my results and proud of myself for getting an A1 for GP and having a miracle jump of E to A for Econs,but there's still this tinge of inferiority and sadness for not making it to that board. I lowered my aims from 4 to 3As last year,and would have been happy if i got AABB in the end. I have lowered my expectations and come to accept and be contented with what i have,since i already anticipated getting a C. But that's besides the point. I'm proudest of being able to continue my mum's legacy of being linguistically brilliant,and i've gotten an A1 for GP after my bro. Like wow. I never expected it,and it was a pleasant surprise.
I wish Hazel,Sianghan and HPY could have done better though. They certainly deserved better,especially Hazel. That's because i know she put in alot of effort. And i know that none of us is any less capable or smart than those who got all the As or somehow did better. Since effort is not proportionate to the results you get,it certainly makes one think twice about why one mugs the living daylights out when it's not gonna make any difference in the end,and is nothing compared to someone who somehow does better without having to put in much. And the system is such that 1 mark can make a whole world of difference,and you can't help but wonder whether you would have jumped a grade should you have elaborated more for an answer or added another point to an essay. That's life. Always so unfair and realistic. What's the difference between a A and a B? Maybe 1 mark,maybe 10. But who will bother even if your competencies are actually comparable? The mark ranges are not even standard,and some simply have ranges that are too small. But since we're bound to this system,we've just gotta accept it. I'm just rambling about the injustice i feel. I feel the sadness and disappointment for those i thought could have done better but didn't,especially since they're so close to me. But i guess what my mum said is right. Results don't determine a person's capabilities. Who knows,given a chance,even somebody who failed the As could excel in university and make it big in life in future? It's just that the person didn't suit the system or vice versa,or what one was good in simply wasn't tested. I believe we're all good in our own ways. Not being good in school subjects doesn't mean one is a good-for-nothing. So i hope they can perservere and not lose heart. I'll support you guys no matter what..don't give up easily 'cos that's the last thing you should do and you'll be letting yourself down.
I've been feeling bad. How exactly do you guarantee to someone that "I'll be there" when there's no such thing as a 100% certainty? Circumstances dictate a hero. It's this inner struggle i often have to face in order not to displease people. Thinking logically,i did the right thing by spending time with HPY and gang cos yesterday was py's last day in singapore until she comes back in June(hopefully),but somehow this time i just feel like i've let him down. 'Cos i wasn't there when he was down and out,and needed me the most. I felt a tinge of regret for assuring py that he had gone home and we weren't going out yet,but i know deep down that if i didn't,i would feel like i'd let my best friend down in the end. And i wasn't gonna see her in quite a long time. I'll really be missing her,since we've shared so many memories together,good times and bad. Since primary 5. If you want the definition of a true friendship,i would say that it's the bond i share with py. I still remember how we couldn't help it and cried together as we walked out of MBS on our last day there,how i cried on the phone to her when my grandma was very ill in hospital,how her eyes brimmed with tears when i talked to her about how janice was feeling and how i thought they shouldn't be treating her that way,how she cried when she couldn't get her results..and how we cried at the airport. I hate it when people close to me leave. I cried when grandma passed away,I cried when my bro left for US,I cried when py left for UK,and i hope nobody ever leaves me again. I hope Janice doesn't decide to leave too,and i hope sianghan can get into a local U so that he doesn't have to leave. Failing which i wouldn't wanna send him off if i can help it. 'Cos it'd be too painful.
Yesterday was one of the rare times i couldn't come to terms with my own emotions. I didn't know whether to feel happy,sad,worried,anxious,guilty or relieved. I guess i was feeling a mixture of it all. But sadness and worry dominated. I felt depressed. All the way till this evening. It was almost as if i was the one in his shoes and i was trying to comfort myself. I felt so helpless and tired i thought i could just lie down and die. It sucks when you couldn't be with somebody when he needed you most and you didn't know what was happening and how he was and you couldn't contact him. I really wished i could have made him feel better,and im dying to make amends. It's hard being a good person. Is it just me or do i still have a whole lot to learn? Whatever it is,when something goes wrong,eveything goes wrong as well. Life's not easy man. School's out for the time-being but the stress is not
Yuling and Ting said that to them,i'm pro and damn good and they're proud of me. That meant alot. I hope i can say things that can make people feel good about themselves too. It's so sweet:)
I wish Hazel,Sianghan and HPY could have done better though. They certainly deserved better,especially Hazel. That's because i know she put in alot of effort. And i know that none of us is any less capable or smart than those who got all the As or somehow did better. Since effort is not proportionate to the results you get,it certainly makes one think twice about why one mugs the living daylights out when it's not gonna make any difference in the end,and is nothing compared to someone who somehow does better without having to put in much. And the system is such that 1 mark can make a whole world of difference,and you can't help but wonder whether you would have jumped a grade should you have elaborated more for an answer or added another point to an essay. That's life. Always so unfair and realistic. What's the difference between a A and a B? Maybe 1 mark,maybe 10. But who will bother even if your competencies are actually comparable? The mark ranges are not even standard,and some simply have ranges that are too small. But since we're bound to this system,we've just gotta accept it. I'm just rambling about the injustice i feel. I feel the sadness and disappointment for those i thought could have done better but didn't,especially since they're so close to me. But i guess what my mum said is right. Results don't determine a person's capabilities. Who knows,given a chance,even somebody who failed the As could excel in university and make it big in life in future? It's just that the person didn't suit the system or vice versa,or what one was good in simply wasn't tested. I believe we're all good in our own ways. Not being good in school subjects doesn't mean one is a good-for-nothing. So i hope they can perservere and not lose heart. I'll support you guys no matter what..don't give up easily 'cos that's the last thing you should do and you'll be letting yourself down.
I've been feeling bad. How exactly do you guarantee to someone that "I'll be there" when there's no such thing as a 100% certainty? Circumstances dictate a hero. It's this inner struggle i often have to face in order not to displease people. Thinking logically,i did the right thing by spending time with HPY and gang cos yesterday was py's last day in singapore until she comes back in June(hopefully),but somehow this time i just feel like i've let him down. 'Cos i wasn't there when he was down and out,and needed me the most. I felt a tinge of regret for assuring py that he had gone home and we weren't going out yet,but i know deep down that if i didn't,i would feel like i'd let my best friend down in the end. And i wasn't gonna see her in quite a long time. I'll really be missing her,since we've shared so many memories together,good times and bad. Since primary 5. If you want the definition of a true friendship,i would say that it's the bond i share with py. I still remember how we couldn't help it and cried together as we walked out of MBS on our last day there,how i cried on the phone to her when my grandma was very ill in hospital,how her eyes brimmed with tears when i talked to her about how janice was feeling and how i thought they shouldn't be treating her that way,how she cried when she couldn't get her results..and how we cried at the airport. I hate it when people close to me leave. I cried when grandma passed away,I cried when my bro left for US,I cried when py left for UK,and i hope nobody ever leaves me again. I hope Janice doesn't decide to leave too,and i hope sianghan can get into a local U so that he doesn't have to leave. Failing which i wouldn't wanna send him off if i can help it. 'Cos it'd be too painful.
Yesterday was one of the rare times i couldn't come to terms with my own emotions. I didn't know whether to feel happy,sad,worried,anxious,guilty or relieved. I guess i was feeling a mixture of it all. But sadness and worry dominated. I felt depressed. All the way till this evening. It was almost as if i was the one in his shoes and i was trying to comfort myself. I felt so helpless and tired i thought i could just lie down and die. It sucks when you couldn't be with somebody when he needed you most and you didn't know what was happening and how he was and you couldn't contact him. I really wished i could have made him feel better,and im dying to make amends. It's hard being a good person. Is it just me or do i still have a whole lot to learn? Whatever it is,when something goes wrong,eveything goes wrong as well. Life's not easy man. School's out for the time-being but the stress is not
Yuling and Ting said that to them,i'm pro and damn good and they're proud of me. That meant alot. I hope i can say things that can make people feel good about themselves too. It's so sweet:)
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