Too many updates but had no time, or was too busy doing other slacker shits like browsing photos. Lol. Next time I'll do a backdate. Maybe after the exams. I seriously should be studying.


Anyway today I scared the shit out of myself cos for the first time in my life since I started learning TCM at least, I had frigging 结代脉. Ok 99% of u reading this probably won't know what I mean but in short it's super abnormal, usually seen in patients with heart conditions or major blood loss or other chronic diseases. Yeah. Heart palpitations + 结代脉 (irregular pulse). I think I never mentioned this but I've often thought about the consequences of me passing on suddenly. Always wondered who'd attend my funeral, and whether from my coffin I'd be able to see the faces I'd not seen in recent years peering down at me for the last time. Always wondered how it's like to die, to be dead, to suddenly just cease to exist. Die out and get excluded from the "living matter" category. My soul'd just vanish into thin air, float around or linger like the wisps of smoke from an extinguished flame? Would I still be able to see people? Anyway. I don't wanna die yet. Live fast, die young. But I haven't lived fast, neither do I want to die young. I haven't even started living my life! Hope the on-off palpitations of today are just a one-off thing. It's rather disturbing and I couldn't concentrate on anything the whole day. Makes me anxious. The last time I did my ECG everything was normal though. Let me believe this is only momentary. Afterall 2 years ago when I was in the US I once had palpitations too but at that time I didn't know to take my pulse and it didn't occur to me what it could mean.


On to happier things. I just called grandad and I'd like to believe I made his day cos if it did, it'll make mine too :) Some happiness in the midst of a dreary, rainy day. I hate rainy days. Totally depressing and sleep-inducing when you need the motivation and drive to face a purpose-filled day. We all derive energy from the sun. Plus I almost died without my bike today. Ok I'm exaggerating. But my heart sank when I reached my lobby this morning to see the rain big enough to rule it a bike-unworthy day. Good rest for my bike, good exercise for me. And with all usual ironies today had to be the day I had lots of books and groceries to carry, and errands to run. Let there be no rain tomorrow!